The Madness of My Mommy

21 02 2014

Image

I never really had a bond with my mother. In fact, I’m sure I never came out of my mother’s womb but out of her butt… ’cause I was always treated like a piece of poop! 

As children, we all want our moms to be kind, loving, and encouraging, and to raise us with care and patience. After all, mothers share the huge responsibility of nurturing us into adulthood, helping build our confidence and shaping our perspectives on life. But what if our moms are not like Mrs. Cunningham from “Happy Days” or Marge Simpson from “The Simpsons”? What if, like me, you were raised by a SCARY mommy?

My mother was so clueless about looking after kids that she assumed that a neighbor’s suggestion to treat us to some “dessert” meant that she should “abandon” us to spend more time at the local pub.

When my brother cut his knee open from roller skating at around age 9, my mom was the only one having stitches… from her continuous laughter. Finally, she did manage to phone my dad at work for help, although as a college teacher in the electrical industry, I’m not quite sure what she expected him to do… invent some sort of electrotherapy device to dull the pain? Well, I think my mother was already as dull as a brush when it came to thinking on her feet.

She assumed the best way to clean out my fish tank was to let the neighbor’s cats do the work on the back patio… whilst the goldfish were still in it. Hence to say, I often became dismayed at the number of lifeless fish heads floating around the top of the tank after I got home from school. Upon questioning her motives, she would aggressively reply that the dirty water had turned the goldfish rusty anyway.

My mom was also extremely forgetful at times. When I was about 6 years old, she neglected to do the laundry and sent me to school wearing a pair of her panties. They were far too big and to my horror they fell down in front of everyone in the school cafeteria. It’s the only time I’ve ever dropped my drawers in an establishment that offered spotted dick (pudding) on the menu.

I wish my mother could have paid as much attention to me as she did on her own appearance. She was so vain that even her mirror used to sigh with complete exhaustion. Granted, she was attractive but alas there was no makeup in her cosmetic case to conceal her narcissistic tendencies. Even her hair styling tools could not brush away her total self-centeredness. She is a product of her own childhood and I will need to accept this unfortunate fact. However, that won’t stop me from poking fun at some of her antics.





Welcome to the Ink Blot blog!

25 10 2010

Hello and welcome to the Ink Blot! Although the Gallant Strides blog has now moved (to Blogger at http://gallant-strides.blogspot.com/ ), I thought I would utilize this WordPress space for fun. I love to write and plan to post various ramblings, stories and more. Please stay tuned for updates….





The Gallant Strides Blog has now moved!

29 01 2010

 

Gallant Strides Moving

It may seem a bit of a backward step to move from WordPress to Blogger, but I have nevertheless decided to do so, as I find it a much more user-friendly platform. I am currently in the process of transferring to my new site and thank you in anticipation for your patience.

I trust that I have your understanding in this matter, and hope that you will continue to follow my new posts at: http://gallant-strides.blogspot.com/

With very best wishes!





Pituitary Disease: Getting the word out

31 12 2009

Location of the Pituitary Gland

This post has now moved to Blogger: Click here

Disclaimer: This blog and the opinions given are not intended to replace the advice of your physician. These posts are merely here to provide you with information about my own personal experiences. Please consult with your health care professional for your own individual care.






Another rant about invisible illness and those who judge: Those closest to you

3 11 2009

GS - Abstract Face

This post has now moved to Blogger: Click here

Disclaimer: This blog and the opinions given are not intended to replace the advice of your physician.  These posts are merely here to provide you with information about my own personal experiences.  Please consult with your health care professional for your own individual care.






Invisible Illness: People who judge

29 09 2009
Hanging Judge

Hanging Judge

This post has now moved to Blogger: Click here

Disclaimer: This blog and the opinions given are not intended to replace the advice of your physician.  These posts are merely here to provide you with information about my own personal experiences.  Please consult with your health care professional for your own individual care.





Your most important asset: Your health

19 08 2009
Doctor's Remedies

Doctor's Remedies

This post has now moved to Blogger: Click here








Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

Joe Seeber

Business - Adventure - Mindset - Blogging Tips

Strange Remains

Human remains in the news and the strange history of corpses

The Siren's Tale

Writing & Lifestyle Blog

HyperReality

A New Kind of Reality

BREVITY's Nonfiction Blog

(Somewhat) Daily News from the World of Literary Nonfiction

change it up editing

I'm Candace Johnson, and I love words. Especially yours. Let me help you say it the way you mean it!

via GiantGag.com

Killing time just got a lot funnier !

CL Health News

Υγεία και Ενημέρωση - Medical reportage, headlines, research, interviews, conferences, tributes and tips, Doctor's Opinion

hearts on sleeves club

If you wear your heart on your sleeve, join the club.

SOulBLINDministry.com

Revealing the hidden truths in scriptures - MARK 4:11

Writer's Relief, Inc.

The day is not over until it is filled with words

Tangible Sanctity

crafting honourable relationship with land and ancestors

The Heritage Journal

The Journal has been maintained since March 2005 to promote awareness and the conservation of the incomparable but often-threatened prehistoric sites of Britain, Ireland and beyond.

WordPress.com

WordPress.com is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

Mathilda's Anthropology Blog.

Just another WordPress.com weblog

The Ink Blot

The day is not over until it is filled with words

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.